A wedding by the fountain

September 19, 2010

Congratulations Jessica and Ryan Sanchez! I am so happy for you both :)

It was a beautiful day, a beautiful wedding, and a lovely reception.

I am honored to have been a part of it all. Thank you!

Late summer haircut

In preparation for a mat-free winter....















Abe got a haircut. I'm always amazed at the transformation.

I found him under all that fuzz!

Squeaker gets the water!

Antoine Dodson, I love you!

Shawnee Mission dog park!!!!!

I woke up this morning with one goal on my mind: Find an off-leash dog park!

After leaving Minnesota and coming home to Abe, I really wanted to do something special for him. He always enjoyed his time at the off-leash dog parks in Minnesota so I thought it would be a lot of fun to find one here.

I gave Alison a ring, we brain-stormed, and then found out there was a dog park actually at Shawnee Mission Park! And the best part, dogs could swim there too!

Abe loves the water and it was the perfect day to play in the water.

Alison brought Baxter along (Abe made a new friend) and I thoroughly enjoyed Abe testing out his doggie paddle. I couldn't stop laughing at how cute he looked. His eyes were so big as he worked away at the water to keep himself afloat. Priceless!

Abe is now passed out by my side as I write this. He completely wore himself out for the rest of the day but he is an extremely happy boy. We will definitely be going back!

A joyful goodbye

It really pulled at my heart as I was leaving the Twin Cities last night.
I never could have prepared myself for how intensely lovely my visit turned out to be.
I came to the realization that I have so much family still living there. Maybe not family by blood but family of the heart. I love you all!

So I was driving down 35E South, last night, the sun was setting over Minneapolis, and my heart was feeling kind of heavy because I was leaving.

I was getting ready to go under a bridge and all of a sudden I looked up. There, on that bridge, stood two little boys, waving with all of their hearts to each car as they passed under them. My heart then filled with joy and I waved back in all my goofy glory.

I don't think those boys knew just how much their simple gesture touched my heart but there was something about it that filled me with hope and joy. Almost like they were the ambassadors to the Twin Cities saying, "Thank you for coming! Please come back soon!"

I will be back!

Just one of the McNeils

Have you ever walked into someone's house and felt completely welcomed and comfortable?

Driving into Saint Paul, last night, I admit to the butterflies in my stomach. I feel completely vulnerable everytime I come to this city. My life changed so drastically when I moved here years ago. I have so many memories, good and bad, that come flooding back each time I drive over the Mississippi River.

I can't tell you what a balm it is to walk into the McNeil's house. I feel like it's a safe place where I can acclimate to this state of 10,000 memories so that I can emerge and walk around outside in confidence.

I have never met a more gracious family.

So, Tim, Nancy, Melissa, (Kari-even though you aren't here this visit), Alli, Cody, and Sophie, thank you from the bottom of my overflowing heart! I am so thankful to have you in my life. I feel so blessed! I love you all!

What's behind the birdhouse door?

Tim, thank you for sending this video my way!

Guys, I think this video will make you squeal just like I did. Too cute!

Get ready to smile and enjoy :)

Abey, don't be sad!

It is one of the hardest things to do when I have to leave Abe behind anytime I hit the road.

He is my smart little muffin and he always figures out when I am going to leave. He never lets me out of his sight once he puts two and two together, even if it's days before I leave. He acts very sad even to the extent that he fools my Mom into thinking he's sick. So, there is lots of smoochin' and kissin' and huggin' his little neck up until my departure just in case he doubts that I'll be comin' back.

I love this kid! He's my buddy and a great co-pilot. It's just that sometimes, Momma has to fly it solo.

Don't be sad, puddin'! Momma be back soon!

Why would an animal show such grace?

I have seen a lot of videos and heard stories of inter-species mothering and inter-species friendships. Something in these stories gets me everytime. There is something so fantastic about them that goes beyond every rational thought and "instinct". I find myself sitting in awe and thinking, "This is a taste of what heaven will be like." It is what my heart yearns for.

I've always believed deep inside of my heart that God never made animals to hunt one another for food; that there could truly be kindness and grace even between the "hunter and the hunted". Maybe, that somewhere along the way, God's perfect plan of the lion laying down with the lamb became horribly and irrevocably changed into a nightmare.

As a young child, I never felt it was the mere instinct of the lion to hunt a wounded baby gazelle. It was purely unjust in my eyes. It wasn't right or good. I wanted to scream at the camera man, "Do something! Don't just sit there!" I remember turning to my Mom and asking, "Why didn't anyone do anything to save the baby?" There's really no answer one can truly give a child looking at you with such hurt in their eyes if you don't genuinely believe it was, or could be different.

It should come as no surprise to you that with a background such as this, I finally became a vegetarian 3 years ago. This is truly not the main point of this post. It's the question I heard a news reporter ask as he was covering a story on inter-species mothering. "Why would an animal show such grace?" This question shot straight to the center of my heart. It is because they were made by a gracious God, just as we are, and there is still evidence of the beauty of Eden and a taste of the pure sweetness of heaven in their actions.

"Rockabye Tabby"

"In the Ubud region of Bali, Indonesia comes a companionship straight out of children's books. Photographer Anne Young was vacationing at the Monkey Forest Park when she spotted a young male long-tailed macaque monkey that had adopted a ginger kitten, protectively caring for and grooming it while keeping other monkeys away. The kitten couldn't look happier, and neither could the monkey."

These stories make my heart happy...tenderness, love, and compassion.
My Momma brought this one to my attention.
Thanks, Momma!

A day for motivational speeches

Make goals.

Plan for success.

Follow through.

Don't be afraid.

These are the main bullet points.

I had a chance to speak empowering words to someone close to me today. I'm hoping they follow through with the plan of attack.
I guess it's kind of evidence of how I have been growing and changing. These are all things I have been trying to do in my own life and I hope that in living well, it inspires others to do the same too.

Pressin' On!

Today, I just didn't "feel" it. Everything inside of me was screaming that I couldn't do it. It was too hard. I needed a break.

BUT.....

I pressed on, I pressed in and found myself staring in disbelief that I had made it. It felt good to defy even my own logic.

I know I am being really vague and am not elaborating on what I made it through but it really doesn't matter. Perseverance applies to many things in life....many things.

So to any of you out there going through something difficult...keep on keepin' on!

I leave you, now, with an inspiring song by Reliet K called (amazingly enough) "Pressing On".....

The Switch

I have to say, rating movies is not my thing but I really enjoyed this one. My good friend (Alison...Yesssssssssss), both our Moms, and I all went to see it together.

The premise is a bit shady but I really like the growth I saw in Jason Bateman's character throughout the movie. There were a lot of funny moments but it really went deeper than just a comedy. Plus, the little boy was adorable and a great little actor, himself.

I got more than I bargained for out of this movie. I liked it, I'm still thinking about it, and I would gladly watch it again.

Today, Blue becomes a pirate kitty

Blue desperately needed a new collar!

I went to Petsmart and low and behold, the perfect collar caught my eye.

It's blue, it has a bell for easy kitty location, and it's got pirate ships with skulls and cross bones on it.

For any of you that know Blue, it's perfect! He's a pretty feisty kitty and once you think you've got him figured out...guess again!

I love my swashbuckling kitten!

Cotton candy skies

Walking outside and locking the door at work, I realized something was different.

The air was actually a bit chilly!

I caught my breath a little bit because I was immediately transported to Minnesota again. There was always something so exciting about when the weather changed there because it seemed like the season Minnesota was made for. I really don't have words to describe it and just thinking about it gets me all choked up with memories.

As I walked to my car with Alison, I looked up into the sky and was stunned, again, but this time by beauty. The sky was full of soft pinks and blues and I told Alison it looked like cotton candy skies.

She said, "That sounds like a love story."

To which I relied, "Yeah, my love story."

We both laughed.

I am very tired, tonight, but very thankful for the beauty, cool breezes, and good company I got to share.

I MISS YOU, MINNESOTA!

Music heals

This song really helped me work through some demons. It also felt great to belt it out at the top of my lungs.

Music is truly amazing.

Cuteness fix!

Makin' muffins

I'm on a pretty restrictive diet so when I saw a recipe for muffins for breakfast, I got pretty excited.

I love to bake. It is calming and relaxing for me and it makes me very happy being able to eat what I make.

The muffins I made today are Granola-Pear Muffins and I am greatly looking forward to eating one tomorrow for breakfast....BIG SMILES!

Thankful for the small things

I can't tell you how thankful I am for my bed when I am so tired.

Today is one of those super-duper-whole-body-tired days.

A soft mattress, smooth sheets, and a warm comforter on top.

Throw a puppy named Abraham in there to cuddle with and I am set!

Thank You for all of these things, Papa, and the rest that is sure to come.

Happiness is this right here....

I have felt a deep desire to read the Chronicles of Narnia again.
What better idea on a day of constant storms than to acquire them.
I am supremely happy!

Is the name of God the sound of breathing?

A sweet friend of mine just wrote on my blog and told me that the post called: Yoga, Grief, and God reminded her of this video. She told me to check it out and I did.

Bethany, thank you for bringing this video to my attention. I will never think of breathing the same way again. I just can't stop crying, it's so beautiful.

If you are willing to take the time to watch the video, please do. Something has forever shifted in my heart after watching it. God is better than my best thoughts of Him!

The ice cream gang

Mom and I recently started revisiting a place of great childhood joy for me, this summer.

The name: Big Burger

The target: The Zebra Cone

Since it's been so hot out, ice cream always sounds good. And what better place to go to other than Big Burger?

When I was younger, Mom would take me and the rest of my siblings swimming at the Sherwood pool. After hours of swimming and feeling tired yet content, we would all pile into the station wagon, and Mom would say, "I think it's a Big Burger day." We all knew what that meant....zebras! Now, not every time we went swimming did this phenomena occur so it was always very special to be surprised by ice cream.

What is a zebra cone you ask?

It is a chocolate and vanilla swirled cone and Big Burger has truly some of the best of this variety I've tasted.

I told Mom driving home the other day that it would be a sad sad day if Big Burger ever closes their doors.

The last couple of times Mom and I have made our ice cream runs, I've decided to take Abe along because he would be attached to my hip if that were possible.

We ended up getting him some vanilla ice cream in a cup and to watch him eat makes you picture him as a wolf in a pack eating as fast as he can. He's ruthless. I take the ice cream away every now and again so he doesn't get brain freeze but he is so very passionate about eating his ice cream. Inevitability, he burps and gets a happy, sleepy look on his face, and all is well in his world.

Mom, Abe, and I all treasure our time together and will continue building happy, ice cream memories.

Yoga, Grief, and God

On my journey to better fitness, I have found a valuable jewel in yoga.

I was told that you can do all the moves in yoga but if you do not breathe, it is not truly yoga.

I notice I breathe very shallowly in my daily life, so to pair some pretty intense stretches and strengthening poses with deep breathing is perfect for me.

I was doing yoga tonight, after a beloved pet died yesterday, and at some of the quietest moments there was such a deep peace that my heart felt laid open. I caught my breath at being so completely vulnerable but then I cried and I know I am the better for it.

I really struggle with grief and grieving in general. I want to throw a wall up and deal with the pain of losing someone dear to me at a "better" time. Yet, I find that "better" time never comes.

Praise be to God for allowing me to feel and for meeting me in yoga and saying, "It's time to feel. It's time to grieve. It's time to be free."

I love my Papa.

Rest in peace, Gilead. We loved you well.

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet
goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special
friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water
and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals that had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor.
Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we
remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy
and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special
to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops
and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body
quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green
grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet,
you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy
kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and
you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from
your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

My thoughts on death and suffering

I believe C.S. Lewis summed it up best when he said, "It's just a bloody mess."

I agree.

To watch someone losing the battle to live is heartbreaking; ripping and shredding and aching. To look over and see the faces of their loved ones watching them die is another kind of pain altogether.

The only comfort I can take or offer is that God weeps with us too. I know He must for I feel His arms wrapped around me and His warm tears on my shoulder.

It's just a bloody mess.

Little green balls

I came to learn something about my little buddy of almost 7 years a little while back.

Abe likes peas!

I guess it really shouldn't surprise me since his most favorite toys are balls.

Peas are just little green balls.

The fact that they are sweet and you can swallow them just makes Abe like them that much more.

A feel-good story

I recently drove to Minnesota for like 1.25 days to see a friend get married....it was a miniature trip to say the least but work was waiting for me when I got back.

I was getting ready to leave town and stopped at Brewberry's Coffee to pick up one of their amazing peanut butter chocolate chip gluten-free cookies. They just happened to be out :( I walked back to my truck, defeated, and started putting things in order for my long drive back to Missouri. I took my phone out and put it on the passenger seat, got my computer set up so I could listen to a book on podcast, and arranged everything within hand's reach from the driver's seat. Then, I laid my keys on the passenger seat,

locked the door,

and closed it.

It seemed like it all happened in slow-motion. My stomach lurched and I fully realized what I had done. I just locked myself out of my truck! Did I mention it was hotter than Hades outside!?!

What would you have done next?

Well, I laid on the ground :)

It looked really goofy but I was hoping against hope that I still had a spare key stuck up under my chassis held by a magnet, but I knew it had fallen off long ago.
A man pulled up next to me, got out, and said, "Is something wrong with your truck?"
I told him I'd locked myself out and was hoping to find a spare key. Plus, I'd locked my phone inside and didn't know how to get in touch with anyone.
He told me he would have offered to let me use his cell phone but he had left it at home. He said I should ask Brewberry's if I could use their phone. And he told me to look up Highland BP because he'd had good service from them.
Going on the tip of a kind stranger, I did just that and a man came out in 5 minutes to unlock my truck.
He was tall, black, and lean with a killer afro that made me wish I wasn't just another strange white girl so we could laugh at my blunder and shoot the breeze.
He worked quickly and had my door unlocked in 2 minutes flat.
"Well, there you go," he said.

"Thank you so much! How much do I owe you?" I asked with an inward cringe at what my bill would be.

"You don't owe me anything," he said kindly.

"What! Are you an angel?" I squeaked.

He never answered my question but went on to say that they usually charge $40 dollars for something like that, but that he thought that was too much for me to pay.

I thanked him again, wishing I could give him a huge hug but we were both sweating bullets and he looked like he just wanted to do a good deed and go.

I got in my truck, turned on the ignition, and cried out of relief.

There are still good people in this world...and quite possibly an angel with a great afro.

Term of the day

MONKEY WRENCH

There is something about this term that always makes me giggle.
Have you experienced a mishap; a snafu of sorts?
Try interjecting, "Well that just threw a monkey wrench into my plans!"
It only gets better from there :)

"It started out as a feeling, which then grew into a hope"

"Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
Until it was a battle cry"

I am moved by music. It seems to be the language I default to. I guess it's because I have felt, for most of my life, that I've been unable to express myself properly. And then I hear a song; a really great song. It moves me and I find myself lost in the world of intermingling words and melody.

For so long, I have watched my life growing from a feeling, to a hope, to a quiet thought, then a quiet word. Now is the time of the battle cry! I have waited for it for so long, walking down so many different paths just hoping something would finally ignite me and light me up like a torch.

My life was meant to be a battle cry. I was meant to call out to myself and others to live life with victory, passion, and vigor. No wonder I found myself filled with sadness, most of my adult life, as I sat idly on the sidelines of life. I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know what to expect from myself. Now I do and honestly, I expect greatness. It may not be the kind of greatness the world looks at and says, "She's got something there!" Or maybe it will be? But I do know it's the kind of greatness that when I meet my Maker someday, I know I can enter into His presence and say, "I wasted nothing You gave me."

Life is too short, too sweet, too amazing! I want to live it up! :)